Not Losing Ourselves

"τί γὰρ ὠφελεῖ ἄνθρωπον κερδῆσαι τὸν κόσμον ὅλον καὶ ζημιωθῆναι τὴν ψυχὴν αὐτοῦ;
τί γὰρ δοῖ ἄνθρωπος ἀντάλλαγμα τῆς ψυχῆς αὐτοῦ;"
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"
Mark 8:36-37


Today's Gospel reading has inspired me to bring this blog back up after quite a long hiatus of inactivity.  I have not lost my faith, and, in fact, in the past few weeks, I feel that I have gotten closer to God.

The idea of gaining the whole world is one that can seem distant from us.  "Of course it wouldn't apply to me, for I only make a small salary and have a very small savings account, if any at all."
However, gaining the whole world, even in this context when Jesus is talking to the crowd, is an ideological gain.  This is a gain of people.  Why not just make life easier so I can fit in?  Why not just tell people what they want to hear so I can be their friends?  Why not just have friends of the table and not of the truth? Friends of the internet and not of reality?


I've slowly been learning that many of us just like to put on different faces in front of different people just to satisfy them for the moment.  I learned a lot about it when I was in a summer program, Freedom Ride, just a few weeks ago.
The message here, in the gospel, is that we need to be ourselves.  In fact, the word that gets translated into "soul" in Greek also means "self".
"What help comes from gaining the whole world and losing one's self?


Alongside learning about different aspects of the history of civil rights in the United States, South Africa, and Botswana.
The idea of "separate, but equal" really spoke to me when I saw every single example, with living spaces, schools, public spaces, and even laws.  Different people in power (or claiming power) were lying to themselves and to others just to gain the world: a following.  Even today, we still have people who do this on a daily basis (I shall avoid politicians, for it is, in fact, the beginning of the presidential race).  I have some acquaintances that I know who will tell one person one thing and another another (in fact, it becomes entertaining for me when the different people from completely different circles come together before me so I can witness these differences).  I am guilty of the same thing.
However, we also have people doing the opposite as well.  I have met some great people who have taught me that I do, in fact, have a voice and that I do have the same power that some whom I may see as my enemies wield.  One of my new friends taught me to get in touch with different emotions when I write.  Another told me to speak out at any given moment.  Different people told me that I have many different ways of becoming active for the cause of unity and love among all of our people, our community, our church.
As a result of finding these abilities, I wrote two poems in the program.  In the first one, I decided to reinterpret a memory.  In the second, I stated my feelings about events that have transpired in the past two months regarding marriage equality in the United States and in the Episcopal Church.  

What will a person give in exchange for her/his self?"
Jesus tells us that he loves us just the way we are.  We do not need to judge others or to put others down.  What we need to do is to follow Jesus in all that we do.  Through all of our challenges and struggles we will get even closer to him.