Day 131: Learning Self-Control

"Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.  See how great a forest a little fire kindles!"  James 3:5

We need to remind ourselves of this message as often as possible.  In fact, we should think this verse before we even begin to speak.

If you haven't figured out by now, James is probably my favorite book of the bible.  I find that this chapter is a great explanation about how our words affect our lives and the lives of those around us.  And what better time to talk about words than in the middle of this heated presidential race in the United States?

I truly enjoy this metaphor of the tongue as being something that starts a great fire.  It means that there is a lot to see just because of the tongue.  We can see the light, the glow, and the smoke; we can smell both the somewhat pleasant aroma of woods burning and we can smell the unpleasant odor of too much smoke; we can hear the crackling of wood, the popping, and the gusting wind of a blaze.  In the same way, our words project so much forward about us, many more than we might think.  What might be disturbing, though, is that our words will have this effect, whether we want it to or not.

I can think about how different body parts have become popular when thinking about fitness.  Men work on their chests and biceps.  Women work on their glutes and their legs.  Yet, to be truly fit, one must work on the entire body.  Needless to say, though, a man's arms and a woman's rear will be among the first things that people will notice.  They will be the signs that one actually works out.  Then, one can start to evaluate the rest of the body: nice shoulders, broad back, balanced legs to arms ratio, and such.

If this is inevitable, then there must be a simple solution.  There are many people who will start to work out just to improve those specific parts of their body.  I'll be the first to say that I started working out just to build up my arms.  I spent so much time just working them out (to no avail, in my stubborn ignorance).  However, that is what brought me into learning more about working out.  I found out about the little muscles that are very important to pay attention to in order to avoid injury.  I found out about core strength.  I learned about functional fitness.  I found many different exercises that I liked.  I'm sure that this is the same for many who currently try to maintain some level of fitness (I must concede that these days I merely try).

The same enthusiasm and encouragement happens when we learn to tame our tongues.  We can start to learn how to speak well.  Through much research and careful reading, we can pick up new words for our vocabulary.  We can learn much more about other people.  We can learn about the great words spoken by Jesus, our saints, and many other spiritual writers and speakers.  We can even learn great things from other fields when we take the time and put in the effort to improve our tongues.  And, once we start to tame our tongue, we can start to work on other aspects of our lives.  Maybe we'll find a prayer we really like and we'll improve our prayer life.  Maybe we'll find a preacher we like and join a new community.  Maybe we'll get into a habit of reading more.  Maybe we'll even get inspired to start helping others out in our communities.

We need to pay attention to how we live our lives.  We need to pay attention to what we are putting out into the world.  When we do, we will be able to improve ourselves in ways that will only bring us closer to God.

Day 029: Discerning Speech

"Righteous lips cover hatred, but those who bring forth abuse are very lacking in discernment." Proverbs 10:19

Probably one of the most talked about images or issues in the entire bible is the mouth.  We use it to speak and communicate in a way that most people who speak our same language can understand.  But our words, though on the surface they are just utterances of sound, can bring forth different meanings.  Some of the meanings are mundane, like, "I'm going to the store," or, "The dog barked."  Some of the meanings are provocative, some in the good way, and others in the bad way.

In my personal reading of this proverb from the Septuagint, I understand the second half as reading, "but those who bring forth abuse are senseless" or "are without direction".  Taking all of these for the interpretation of one word, though, can help me understand what is going on in the proverb.

Hate is something that is so easy for us to do, for we can point the finger so quickly when something doesn't go our way.  Think about how easily children say the phrase, "I hate ...".  When we grow up, we become conditioned so that we either say that phrase in a hyperbolic way, or we reserve the phrase for very choice occasions, when we truly have hatred towards something or someone (or, we want to think of it as being in that way).

Hatred separates us from those we hate.  We isolate ourselves by saying that we hate others.  And, when we start saying that we hate every single thing around us, we start to put ourselves into a little box, where we lack direction, where we can't accomplish anything.  When we hate someone, sometimes we just like to go to our little corner and burn with anger against that one person.  We waste our time we could be using to learn or to communicate to think about how much we hate that person.

So what does it mean, then, to cover hatred?  I like to think that this proverb is another way of saying, "think before you speak."  When we can take some time to think about what we are going to say, about what we hate, we can start to consider not only the consequences of our accusations, but also the other qualities in that person.  We can also start to make it a moment to learn more about our sincerest beliefs and about why they exclude that person.  Why does that guy want the room to be red while I cannot have it any other color than blue?  Why does that woman say that there is no church without the liturgy while I enjoy an altar call instead?

The moments where we are tempted by hatred are ones where God is trying to speak to us.  These are challenges of our own faith.  God is trying to help us understand how to be better missionaries, so that we can continue to spread the gospel, both abroad and in our own hearts.  When we have the opportunity to discern whether to bless or to condemn, we have the opportunity to hear God speak to us in a difficult situation.